lead injection<3

lead injection <3

a lot has been circulating.
around me, in my head.

i feel like i'm stuck in this one rotation,
this unending pattern.

it's hard for me to explain things,
because it's hard to explain things that you yourself do not understand.

i've been writing a lot more lately.
it's become more of a task that i have to do.

self expression comes easier now,
because of emotion.

but how is one person supposed to handle the emotions of two?
especially those so strong.

i'm not making sense.
not to you, atleast.

mm.
i want to find one person.
one person who will listen.

dream on, i guess.



(this is from gaia)
except the title...
-blushes-

nightturntable.

nightturntable.

I WAS A N00B!

larlarlar.
i was reading like... some of my very first posts.
i'm still stupid.

but anyways.
i started talking to kyle again yesterday.
i haven't talked to him in foreverr.
arrgle shmarrgle shmudding&shmie.

i put this link up on a
"pretty public" profile.

i can't put it up on gaia because my name's different. Yahh.

fuckkkk. i don't know. december's been a really shitty month.
it's not getting much better.

RUINED MY WHOLE DAMN CHRISTMAS.

i had a dream i talked to hunter last night.
mhm.

he like... randomly i.m.ed me.
and we started talking about politics and shit about France.

i've been dreaming about him the past several nights.
>.<

The pain is deep and wide.
Cannot esape from the lives we have made.
Where are we now?
I'm starting to forget just what it was you said exactly.
The love is gone,
only to spawn
Disastrous memories.

I'm starting to forget.
I'm trying to hold on.

i realllyyy like how they sing it though.
i find a lot of drop dead's music pretty.

idk.
i might edit this, adding more later.

kbai.

omnomnomnom.

omnomnomnom.

i really don't like you.
i really don't like anything.
my moodswings are uncontrollable and unpredictable.

i hate this.
ever since...

i don't know when.

i won't know until...

ugh.
i hate life.
i hate school...

i love gaia.
it's amazing.

i want to go on right now but the school's filter blocks it.
stupid stupid.

but it's a distraction.
it makes me happy.

WTFBBQ?!
see. now i'm happy.

WHAT's WRONG WITH THE FAREEKING WURLD

i like my myspace. for once.

arrhhghg. omnomnomnom.

the end.

the end.

Love is...
something.

it buds, grows, blooms, swells, explodes brilliantly,
and then ends bitterly.

Well, at least, that's how it was for me.

You give yourself completely to someone,
your heart, your soul.
And you're happy.

But things change.

The thread between lovers thins,
and then snaps.

The rug is ripped out from under your unexpecting feet.






On December second, Hunter broke up with me.
After five days of nothing;
no contact at all.

It's tearing me apart.
I'm suffering more than I can explain,
and more than I can let anyone see.

Today is my fifteenth birthday.
And so far, it's been the worst day of my life.