typed on word D<

typed on word D<

Redundant.

That’s a funny word (:


I think it’s pretty cool? Idk.
I
Am bored.
I did.
I did this.
I did this to –
NO.

Hello (:

QQQQQQQQQQQQ.
No.

So guess what (:
I deleted all of the Hunter stuff on my phone.
All of the messages and pictures =D


I'm in english.
beep beep.
i was going to write a tons of stuff,
but i don't has tiemz ):
and it isn't exactly private here...

but one of the members of Raining and OK talked to me on myspace!
it was soooo amazing (::::::
haha. made me suuuper happy.
and we just finished my room!
so now it's super sweet 8)

haha. idk.

can't talk teacher coming over... EEEPPPP.

c-o-r-o-cops

c-o-r-o-cops

I have nothing. I feel so down.
I want to have something to believe in, someone to count on.
I have no one. I feel so down.

Ryan hasn't texted me back. He went to dinner at six thirty (when he never texted me back), and it's 9:15 now. ugh ):

What am I waiting for?
He doesn't owe me anything.
He cares more about World of Warcraft than he does me.

That's not a surprise really.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone sees the same things I see.
I feel like they're all colorblind, and I'm the only one that can see.

But I don't know what I see.

Shane asked me if I hated my life today.
I told him yeah, sometimes.

I wasn't even lying.

I feel like I'm digging a hole for myself. Every time I see Tommy or Davis, I dig myself a little deeper. Every time I see a photograph of Hunter, I bury myself five thousand feet deeper. It hurts to write his name. I thought I was doing so much better,
I even threw his stuff away.

Every time I think I'm better, something just drags me right back down.

AND
I like Ryan. A lot. More than I should. I want to tell him, but how can I?
I can't talk to anyone.
Not Ashley. I can talk to her about anything else, but not this. I don't know why.
Not Jessica. She's too naive. I can't.
Christina and I have been so distant lately...
and there's no one else.

I thought I had a good life.
And last year, I did.

I built the best life for myself that I could at the time.
But I wasn't expecting it to be torn apart, leaving me with only shreds and distant memories.

how are you feeling today?

numb.

i can't do it.

i can't do it.

i still love him.